Flat Mirth

It was suggested that I was, or came close to, an idolatrous sun-worshipper. What had I done to merit such a rebuke, you ask? Spent too long sun-bathing? Sacrificed a ram to Ra? Attended Stonehenge at the summer solstice? None of these. Rather, I shared that the Earth is spherical and orbits the sun. My friend’s logic ran thus:

As the sun travels around the earth and not the other way round, I have denigrated God’s wonderful creation and have fallen into the age-old error of sun-worship by attributing to that star powers and abilities it does not possess. Ok, so I decided to use this same logic to prove a few other wrongs. Here goes:

It is wrong to fly off on holiday. God did not make humans with wings so we were never intended to leave the ground. Furthermore, aircraft take us into the skies, which is what the Tower of Babel sought to do. Therefore people who fly are as bad as the builders of that tower and are as ripe for judgement.

That brings me onto languages. God intended us to speak different languages from the time of Babel. Therefore being a French teacher is wicked, and allowing your child to learn GCSE French is a clear violation of God’s decree. Repent, therefore.

Did you know that jogging is a sign of a fallen heart? Proverbs 28:1 clearly teaches:

The wicked flee when no one pursues, but the righteous are bold as a lion.

The next time you see a jogger, call on them to repent. If they walk thereafter, they may be saved. If they keep ajogging, they run to their own destruction.

It is certainly easier to be a fool than a wise man.