St Andrew’s Old Church, Upleatham

St Andrew’s Old Church is found a little way from the Cleveland village of Upleatham. It is the second smallest church building in England, but certainly one of the most interesting. It is no longer used for services and its tiny interior is locked to the public, but a grill allows for some modest viewing.

An elementary inspection of the building suggests that it is at least Norman in date, owing to the carved corbel heads positioned about the eaves, and the blocked up, rounded arcade arches on the north side. The tower looks daft, and is clearly much later, 1683 apparently. Whoever built it deserves a good telling-off, because it is entirely out of place.

To the structure’s west lays another ruin, which might once have been part of the church. Whatever its past, it is now a mere twenty feet by thirteen. Meeting for worship here would be rather constricted; only a select, skinny few would manage to enter this miniscule building. Judging by the other ruins, the blocked arches and the jutting wall, this church was considerably larger. With time’s passing and Upleatham’s relocation up the road, Old St Andrew’s declined and reduced. Is this a picture of the wider, British church?

The Scottish Kirk is flogging off hundreds of its unwanted buildings. Methodism is swallowing itself up. Congregational chapels are often dull and declining. Anglican parishes sometimes attract less than a half a dozen congregants. Many Pentecostal fellowships are money-grubbing enterprises, while the gospel of Woke is proclaimed in many pulpits. Good ministers are hard to come by, and must sometimes manage several churches at once. It seems that there is shrinkage and contraction all about us. Like Old St Andrew’s, the walls are crumbling or demolished while others are hastily rebuilt to stave further decay, which also fails. We must remind ourselves of the ‘church’ in ancient Israel at the time of Elijah and Elisha: compromised? Yes; weak? Certainly; small? Truly; extinguished? Never.

And I also say to you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build My church, and the gates of Hades shall not prevail against it. Matthew 16:18, NKJV