Tartin Mop: Pastoral Letter to Satan

A Pastoral Letter from the Leaders of Ichabod Chapel, Tartin Mop:

For many hundreds of years, the Christian church has promulgated negative, hostile and harmful views about Satan. He was preached against from out pulpits, denounced at our baptisms and exorcised at our prayer meetings. We have now begun to realise that this negativity will have been harmful and injurious to the Prince of Darkness and this is likely to have caused a great deal of heartache, pain and damage to his wellbeing and mental health. From our own pulpit, sermons against ‘the world, the flesh and the devil’ were regularly preached, emphasising and magnifying hostility between the Christian community and the demons of hell. We believe that it is the role and responsibility of the Church to bring people together, not to drive them apart. The god of love whom we worship and who made us all- both humans and devils- would not have it any other way.

We repent of this historical legacy and regret the harm that we have caused. We extend a sincere hand to the devil and demons everywhere. We ask their forgiveness for the way we have treated them and their followers, and for having painted them in such unflattering light. It is our hope that our denomination can effect reconciliation between Satan and ourselves, and that we might work together instead of against each other. So to devils, demons and to differently-clean (previously known as unclean) spirits, we extend our hand in greeting and look forward to a new era of cooperation, mutual respect and friendship.

Yours Wokely,

Rev Dr Ms Alana Denmars (she/hers), Ichabod Chapel, Tartin Mop

The following reply was received, almost immediately:

To & Fro,

Earth

Dear Rev Dr Ms Alana Denmars and esteemed members of Ichabod Chapel,

I cordially thank you for your most welcome message and conciliatory words which we in the demon community are delighted to receive. It is splendid to know that bridges are being built, and that there is now a well-established two-way traffic: we come to you, and you are certainly coming down to us. I know this might sound strange, but you and I have been working together for longer than you think. I have been coming to your churches and chapels for decades, and have enjoyed every single word I have heard in your sermons and gossiped at your jumble sales. Indeed, I have a seat on your denomination’s ruling council, and the other members I have found most convivial. I have been teaching at your seminary and inspiring your leaders. I have always had a fondness for Ichabod Chapel, especially since the 1920s when you first made me welcome. Keep up the good work!

Yours Unfaithfully,

Satan,

Prince of the Powers of the Air, god of this World, Lord of the Flies