Leaving the Bank

Submitted by Alan Marsden on Thu, 29/07/2021 - 00:00

Well my 25-year marriage to HSBC has come to an end. This is the bank I joined the very month I left school. They offered me a student rail card, but got in return numerous savings accounts, a mortgage and mainly credit balances for a quarter-century.

Last month, I was unable to pay fifteen pounds into my work’s staff leaving fund. The banking app refused the payment as it was a ‘business account’. So I re-entered the details into the business account section, only to be told that I would have to search for it among the listed businesses, rather than enter the details myself. Funnily enough, a small grammar school’s staff fund was not included. The payment could not therefore be made. 25 minutes of being on the phone, and HSBC deigned to allow me to spend my own money, having passed me around several staff. I told them not to bother, and sent cash instead.

I am in the process of closing down my four accounts with them and moving somewhere better. I looked to see what incentives, if any, banks were offering for new custom. The most generous- £125- was from HSBC itself as it seeks to attract new customers. Good luck to them. I am moving to a bank which has the highest ‘customer service’ rankings in the UK.

Often we are loyal to these large companies. We feel that, having been with them so long, we are a part of their happy family, a cherished relation. We are no such thing- just a customer number, a source of income, a cow well milked. I sometimes wonder how more loyal we are to these large companies than we our to our churches. I know very silly people who have left churches for very silly reasons. Yet month by month, they faithfully pay their TV tax to the BBC, buy their utilities from the same rip-off companies, autorenew their car insurance from the same greedy firms.

When I advised HSBC of my intention to move, fifty pounds compensation was hastily- and generously- wired to my account, which I said they could keep. I was a little sad to leave- until I reviewed their Twitter page (below). If they took more pride in being functional and communicative, and spent less time boasting about sexual identity, I might still be with them. Interestingly, their middle eastern Twitter account does not fly the rainbow flag. Odd, that.