Rectal Theology

As the West becomes increasingly ignorant of Christian theology and the gospel, we see an increase in superstition. Take this letter from a magazine someone sent me, the publication’s title currently undiscoverable:

I always hoped my Bobby would contact me from the other side to let me know that he was okay, but I never expected him to do it like this!

You see, I think my Bobby's spirit is somehow trapped inside ME - and he's desperate to get out.

This is a little personal so I'll try to put it as politely as possible.

The other week I was in a toilet cubicle at John Lewis's making myself comfortable when I released some wind - and I swear I heard the words, 'Help me!' in Bobby's slightly muffled voice.

Now I'm convinced he's inside me and is begging to be released. It's left me terrified.

Susan, 51, Wolverhampton

I would like to think it is a parody from Viz, but I fear otherwise. When Christianity is exiled, it is often replaced by dull-witted paganism, not the sophisticated secularism so beloved by the elite.

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